


small parts of something big

by TEARSoverBEERS



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Excessively Messing with Keith, Insecurity, Lots of Ridiculousness, M/M, Overthinking it: the fic, Team as Family, brotherly keith & shiro, welp there was something up with the coding but I fixed it now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 19:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10883565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TEARSoverBEERS/pseuds/TEARSoverBEERS
Summary: “Yeah, no one's gonna be like 'oh, Shiro is in love with me, we gotta date now',  just in theory, which one of us do you find the most dateable.” Lance agrees.--------------Aka. the Paladins are stuck in a fight over who is more dateable and somehow Shiro get himself wrapped up in that (and then in Lance)





	small parts of something big

Shiro takes one step over the threshold to the designated living room and immediately regrets it.  
“SHIRO!” Three voices scream in unison, a fourth laughing hysterically on the sofa, and one second later Keith and Lance is right in front of his face with an equally intense look in their eyes, putting a stop to any chance of escape.

“Shiro!” Keith's eyes narrow, and he grabs onto his right arm firmly just as Lance does the same with his left and pulls him towards the closest sunken couch where Pidge and a furiously blushing Hunk is sitting. Allura is sitting to the couch next to it, the arm wrapped around her belly and hand covering her mouth doing little to hide the giggles making her entire body shake.  
Just in front of the couch they stop as if on cue, turning so everyone is now staring at Shiro. Keith continues to speak, face set in a determined frown (as compared to his normal, neutral frown).

“Which one of us would you rather date?”  
“. . .Wow, I think I just heard Coran calling for me in the kitchen. See you guys later.” He manages to turn around and take almost a full step towards the door before he is reeled in again.  
“NO!” He is dragged back around and pushed to sit down on the couch in between Hunk and Pidge who scoots over, snorting in glee. “We're settling this. Which one of the paladins would you rather date? Allura doesn't count, she is too hot.” Lance continues, Keith nodding along. Shiro just winces. Why _him._  
“Guys... I'm your teacher. This is all different kinds of wrong.”  
“Uhm, technically, you _were_ our teacher. Now you're our leader.” Pidge corrects. Shiro frowns.  
“How does that make it better?”  
“It doesn't matter!” Keith says.  
“Yeah, just like, theoretically, if we were in a different situation and old and we were all girls.” Hunk finally speaks up. “Or boys if you're into boys. Or just ourselves if you're into both. I mean I don't know. I don't want to assume.” Shiro just grimace. He was not having _that_ talk right now.  
“Yeah, no one's gonna be like 'oh, Shiro is in love with me, we gotta date now', just in theory, which one of us do you find the most dateable.” Lance agrees. Shiro looks over at Allura, who looks way too amused by this, trying to mentally plead with her to help him out of this. She just snorts.  
  
“Why aren't you bugging Allura about this?”  
“Nice try. They already did.”  
“Yeah! How do you think this got started? We already agreed that you and Allura are the sexiest people on this ship!” Everyone nods along, and Shiro finds his face bursting into flames, ears burning like after a day in the sun.  
“Possibly two of the sexiest people in most of the universe, to be honest.” Pidge puts in. Shiro turns towards her, looking absolutely scandalized. “What? I'm just being objective. Everyone knows it!” Shiro does not. Shiro does _not_ know that. Oh my god.  
“Oh come on, we're all adults here.” She rolls her eyes.  
“You're seventeen!”  
“Come on Shiiiiroo.” Lance drags out his name in a whine.  
“. . .” Shiro is stubbornly silent. Pidge is leaning very close to his face, her nose only one or two inches from his cheekbone, with her finger tapping her chin and eyes roaming like she is trying to analyze something. It's rather disturbing.  
“It's Keith, isn't it?”  
“ _No_.” The answer is so quick and curt that everyone freeze for a second, before Lance fall backwards onto a couch, stretching his body all over it and hands thrown over his head laughing, pointing at Keith.  
“HAH!”  
“SHIRO! YOU BETRAYED ME!” Keith is holding one hand over his heart and he looks incredibly offended.  
“What? You're like my little brother! Also no offense, but you're kind of a downer.”  
“How can I not take offense to that!” Shiro shrugs, a mischievous smile he tries to keep under control now playing at the corner of his mouth. Pidge looks gleeful, poking her finger into his cheek.  
“That means you have thought about it.” The smile immediately vanishes.  
“Have not!”  
“Come on Shiro, tell us, who is it.” Allura is leaned forward over her knees with her chin resting against her palm, her face impressively neutral except for the telling glint of amusement in her eyes. “You're not getting away. Fess up pretty boy.” 

He tries to mentally calculate his chances of escape. Should he try to run and actually got so far as not being immediately body slammed to the floor by Hunk (or Allura) that he was caught in a match of speed against Keith in the narrow corridor outside, it was still less than one percent. Not his worst odds ever, but definitely a risk of someone getting hurt (probably him. Allura and Pidge were both on the other team, not a good bet). Sighing audibly, he finally accepts his fate.  
“Lance.”  
Everyone's mouths drop open. He dare to throw one quick look towards Lance himself, who actually have crawled onto his elbows, eyes wider than he have ever seen them, mouth opening and closing like a fish and face getting redder by the minute. Shiro straighten his back and cross his arms, trying his best to look unaffected and in control (as if his heart isn't beating so loudly in his ears he think he might have an heart attack). “W-what? You asked. If I was going to date one of you, I'd date Lance.” Lance is so red in the face now Shiro is getting a little worried, but he's trying to nonchalantly _not_ look at him, so it's not that easy. Keith finally awaken from where he had been frozen in his normal crossed-arms-and-frown and starts flailing his arms in Lance's direction.  
“What! Why!? He's like... Lance!” Shiro frowns a little, thinking Keith really is pushing it, but to his surprise Lance is the one that seems to nod violently in agreement. Did Lance not think himself an actual contender? Why was he so adamant on Shiro answering then? Just to mess with Keith?  
“Yeah? What's wrong with Lance?” Shiro probably says this a little more defensively than he had the right to do, but Lance looks away, rubbing his neck. He seems almost... Insecure? Keith can't seem to think of something to say, he just keeps motioning his arms towards where Lance is.  
“I mean, I love you and all bro, you're my best friend, but... It's sort of surprising.” Hunk hesitantly adds. “The two of you haven't exactly been hanging out.”  
“Well he is good looking, objectively speaking, I just thought he'd fall short on that personality. You always seemed pretty annoyed with his... antics.” Pidge agrees. Shiro's mouth fall open. Is that really what these guys think? Is that what _Lance_ think?  
“I don't dislike his personality! Lance is funny, he makes everyone laugh and feel at home wherever we are. He got a quick mind and he is _so_ brave to the point of self sacrifice that it makes me rip my hair out sometimes, but I don't _dislike_ him. He is so passionate about the things he loves and when he talks about his family his eyes light up all bright, not to mention have you _seen_ his le-” He breaks himself off into a cough, realizing he was about to take it maybe one step too far. His cheeks heat up a little again at his misstep, but mostly he feels oddly... Excited, letting all this out. Looking around, everyone looks even more surprised than they just did.  
“Oh. My. God.” Pidge stage whispers, eyes glittering like stumbling upon a hidden treasure. Oh-oh. That's never a good sign. “Shiro got a crush on Lance!”  
Everyone breaks out in an unruly laughter, clapping their hands and falling to the floor. Shiro feels all blood drain from his face before coming back tenfold. Then his eyes snap towards something moving in the corner of his perimeter, and finds that Lance is standing. He isn't laughing. He just leaves.  
Fuck. Shiro let his face fall into his hands, fingers running through his bangs. He wants to run after him and explain himself, but he doesn't want to alienate him further from him.  
Thing is, he meant every word he said. He really did. He think Lance is amazing, and gorgeous, and his genuine smile is one of the few things that brightens the world enough to make living worth every painful moment. And he think all the others are wonderful, and incredible, and _family_ , but the thing is. The _thing_ is. The THING is - Pidge is not wrong.  
No matter how much of a joke it was, no matter how much he have _pushed it down_ and _denied it's existence_ even to himself, Shiro is painfully aware his feelings towards Lance is not only of the platonic sort. He WISH they were, because then he could stop feeling so damn guilty about taking advantage of Lance's friendly nature and just enjoy being in his company.  
He shakes Hunk's arm until he stops laughing and he get his attention, telling him that Lance just left and asking him to go check on him.  
“Hm? Oh yeah, sure, but he probably just got embarrassed and went to take a leak to hide it. I'll be right back.” Hunk leaves to go find where Lance ran off to, and Shiro is left staring after him. The others have calmed down now and seems to have changed topics to which of them would make the prettiest babies together. 

 ---------------------------------------------------------

Everyone had been leaving for bed an hour ago and the castle was completely silent so near as the white noise of energy moving through the walls. Yet Shiro have not been able to sleep. It's not an uncommon occurrence, technically, but it's usually due to his thoughts racing a hundred miles per hours with his heart in his throat, finding monsters in every shadow and being hyper aware of ever creak in the floor or just being woken by vivid nightmares. Tonight, it's different. His heart is lodged securely in his chest, feeling like a heavy weight is pushing it down. He can't stop thinking about Lance's face, and the way had had ran out. He had not joined them again until dinner, and even then he had very pointedly refused to look in Shiro's direction while still joking and messing with the rest. Shiro felt unbelievably guilty. He should have just taken his chances and ran, or straight up lied. Keith had been a safe option, he should've agreed to Keith.

Silently, with steps trained by necessity to not make a sound, he stand from his bed and put his shirt on. Leaving his room, he walk down the hallway until he reaches Lance's bedroom and knock his knuckles a couple of times against the door.  
“Lance..?” He get no answer. He don't know what he had been thinking, Lance was probably asleep already and wouldn't hear him. Just as he is about to leave however, the doors open and he starts, out of habit pulling his hands up in a defensive position.  
Lance is standing in the doorway, hair sticking up in all directions and eyes appearing red rimmed in the bad lightning. He is observing him quietly, frowning, as Shiro lowers his hands. Well, he could have pulled that off better. Lance just seems tired as he relents, sighing deeply.  
“What.”  
“I- We need to talk. About before. Do you-?”  
“Sure, come in.” Lance leaves the door wide open for him and walks back towards his bed. Well that wasn't at all what Shiro had in mind. He was thinking maybe the kitchen, or the gym, somewhere _neutral_. Now he have to do this in Lance's private quarters and he won't be able to stop thinking about how it smells like Lance in here, oh god this is gonna be even more embarrassing.  
He follows Lance inside, unsure what to do with himself as Lance takes a seat on his messy bed. It's obvious he have been in there very recently and probably just got up because he heard Shiro. _Oh man no don't think of Lance's bed that is the **worst** thing you can do._  
Awkwardly, Shiro seats himself on the opposite side of the bed, as far from Lance he can be. A respectable distance. Professional. He breathes deeply, Lance watching him silently for once, waiting for him to start.  
“Okay so. About this afternoon-” Lance cuts him off with a sigh.  
“Shiro it's fine- I know it was a joke. No hard feelings.” It takes Shiro completely by surprise and he speaks before he can stop himself.  
“What?”  
“Yeah, I get it, 'everyone knows I wouldn't ever choose Lance so let's pretend I do', ha-ha, millennial hipster irony. It's fine. I'm sorry I ran away.” Shiro's heart is beating loudly in his ears. What?  
“That's- I didn't lie!” Lance just raises one brow and stares, and Shiro can feel himself blush. Damn it he was bad at this. “I didn't! I really meant what I said! I think you're amazing, Lance!” Lance just looks hurt, turning into anger as he bites his lips, gripping the bed sheets hard enough to turn his knuckles white.  
“You can stop that ok, you don't need to push yourself. Either way, why _would_ I believe you didn't just pull that stuff out of your ass.” Shiro feels like all air have been punched out of him.  
“Why... wouldn't you?” The possibility of Lance just... Not believing him hade never entered his mind. He thought Lance trusted him. Thought he knew he'd never do something like that. Lance looks pained.  
“I have been looking up to you since I was 12 years old and decided I wanted to be a pilot. Dude, you've been my _hero _half my life. I have tried so hard to- I mean, I, no matter what, you always choose to go with someone else, you never even looked at me. You _always_ choose someone else. And why wouldn't you? There isn't one single person that would say no to you! A-and I'm not a prodigy like Keith or smart like Pidge or strong and kind like Hunk or, or a _freaking princess_ like Allura. I can't even grow a mustache! I get it!”__

Shiro feels stunned. It's true, he usually do choose someone else, but not because he didn't want to go with Lance. He just tried to make himself forget how Lance had taken a hold on his heart and refused to let go, which works very badly when Lance is there to just dig his claws in deeper.  
“Lance, you don't get it at all!”  
“Yes I do! Because-!” Lance growls in frustration, and suddenly he isn't sitting in the same spot anymore. Suddenly he have moved across the bed and is more or less straddling Shiro's lap.  
Lance... was kissing him. Lance was kissing him. Holy quiznak and praise every single god in the universe, _Lance_ was kissing _him_.  
And he wasn't kissing back, he should-. Shit. No, wait, he can't do that. Fuck.  
Though a part of him hates himself for it, he puts his hands on Lance's shoulders and push him away until he can look him in the eyes.  
“Lance...” Lance groans loudly, throwing his head back to hide the way his eyes was just a little too shiny.  
“See! This is how I know! You never did and never would look at me like that!” Lance's voice have been getting progressively louder until it breaks, and he have to force a breath into his lungs. It breaks Shiro's heart. He don't know what he should do. He wants nothing more than to reach over and pull Lance into his arms, but he _can't_. Lance's feelings were those of a person meeting their hero, not those made from a equal bond.  
“Lance, that's not true. I'm not perfect, I- I am not deserving of being someone's hero. _I've killed people with nothing but my hands_. God, I've killed so many people, and I hear their screams inside my head every night. Sometimes their faces are changed for one of you, and I never know if it's real or not because my head is so messed up and I never know if I might one day pass out and turn into that person again. God Lance you are so wrong, I wish I could tell you exactly how wrong you are and how much I care, but I can't because whatever feelings you have for me is based on a _lie_ , an imaginary person you have built me up to be!” Lance looks shocked, silent tears finally breaking the tension and rolling down his cheeks. 

“How-” He stops himself to lick his dry lips before continuing. “How much... do you care?” It's so ridiculously far from the point he was supposed to take away from that spiel and something in Shiro snaps in that moment, the final drop to make the glass overflow. Without hesitation he throws himself at Lance, grabbing him roughly by the neck of his pajama shirt and pulling their bodies together. He moves his hands to cup Lance's face and kiss him with everything he have been keeping inside, keeping secret, every hidden glance and embarrassing daydream, and hopes it is enough to get through all that he wants to say. Lance gasps and grabs his neck, pulling him even closer, kissing back with just as much fervor. Both their skin is rough with stubble but Lance's more so, scratching against his face. It's sort of messy and it's been a long time so he is probably really rusty and it's a little bit awkward trying to fit them together but mostly it's just so _incredible_ and slightly overwhelming as he let his feelings take over and groans into the kiss. He barely notice as Lance fall back on the bed and he is dragged on top of him, continuing to lick and taste and kiss, not wanting to miss a single thing. Lances leg parts for him to fit better and it's so ridiculously erotic when he moves after and Lance _whimpers_ right into his mouth.When they finally pull apart it's more from necessity than wanting to part, both of them panting and gasping for air, chests touching when they breathe in. Shiro's face is still no more than a couple inches from Lances, their eyes meeting and unable to look away. Lance's eyes are wide and his iris is barely visible due to the size of his blown pupils.  
“Oh. Okay. Uhm. Yeah, that's. Wow.” Shiro swallow visibly, starting to come back to his senses.  
“Uhm yeah. So that. Was a thing that happened.” No one moves, just staying there staring at each other. Lance's hand start reaching up towards his face, and Shiro instinctively tense up. But when he see the hand curl and starting to retreat he moves back again, putting his cheek against it. Lance is still staring at him like he can't believe what he's seeing, feeling the warm skin under his hand. Then he moves his body up at the same time he pulls Shiro down, closing his eyes and pressing a single gentle kiss to his lips while moving his other hand down over his back, fitting nicely at the crook.  
“Maybe... It's a thing that could keep happening?” he no more than whispers. Neither of them are looking anywhere but each others lips now, moving slowly closer again, pulled together by an invisible force. 

“I SWEAR LANCE IF YOU FUCK SHIRO IN THE ROOM NEXT TO MINE WHILE I'M HERE I WILL NOT HESITATE TO COME IN THERE AND CHOP YOUR DICK OFF MID THRUST!”  
They throw themselves away from each other, Shiro bumbling heavily onto the floor in a reverse somersault and Lance hitting his head on the wall in surprise, turning around and banking his fist on it a couple of times.  
“S-SHUT UP KEITH!”  
It takes a moment, after the room become silent again, to take in the change in atmosphere and what they had just done as they are violently thrown back into the reality of the situation. Lance looks a little bashful, but determined. It's honestly super hot and Shiro almost shivers just from having the intensity of those eyes on him, but he physically stop himself and tries to clear his head, rubbing his temples. There was no easy way out now, better just be honest. He sighs, feeling a little bit cold without the pleasant warmth of Lance that had just been next to him.  
Lance looks like he is about to say something, but Shiro beats him to it.  
“Lance... It was wrong of me to do that.” Lance freezes. “The feelings you have for me is not real. You know me as this idol from your childhood, you said it yourself, you thought of me as a hero. Sooner or later the bubble is gonna burst and- I can't- I can't do that, to either of us.” Shiro feels heartbroken, but meeting Lance's eyes he actually shivers this time, only not in a good way. Lance is angry.  
“So you are just gonna keep looking down on me.” Shiro jerks.  
“What? No that's not at all-”  
“Yeah!? Well look here; don't you think it's maybe up to _me_ to say whether my feelings are real or not? Didn't it hit you to maybe trust that I was grown up enough I could tell apart real feelings from some childhood celebrity crush!?” Shiro is left gaping like a fish, no words coming to him. Could it..? “No, congratulations oh mighty leader, for being so damn self centered that none but your own made up ideas about your own worth, no matter the evidence to the contrary, could be the correct ones.”  
“... A bit hypocritical there, aren't you?” Lance turns around, crossing his arms and pouting like an angry child. Which. Really doesn't help bring home his argument here, to be honest.  
“I don't know what you're talking about.”  
Shiro looks at him, the harsh lines of his frown that doesn't completely hold for the sadness he is trying not to show. He looks so different than from when they met. Scruffier, a little bit sharper, scars dotting his skin in random patterns - less time to put on beauty regimes. But in many ways, he is still the same kid he was. And isn't that's what Shiro likes so about him? Because optimism, a glass half-full mentality _never_ survives a war. Yet here Lance sits before him, after being thrust into a war he shouldn't have been part of as a teenager and having to fight his way through so many life or death situations that only by dumb sheer luck they had all managed to survive with their bodies more or less intact, and he is _pouting_ because the boy he likes might not like him back. Whenever he will leave in the morning he will surely have pushed it down so he can step out of this room with a smile on his face, and he will go make sure everyone else gets to smile today too. It's not healthy, but it's the way he is. Kind. Protective. Intuitive. 

“Lance... You're right.”  
“... What?”  
“You're right. I should have trusted that you know your feelings, not tried to lecture you on how you really feel. I tried to tell myself you couldn't possibly like me, so I wouldn't have to deal with my own feelings. I was being stupid and a coward and most of all I was wrong. And I like you, a lot. I think you are on of the greatest things I've had in my life and I have never been happier than I've been in your presence. Meeting you and having you with me on this journey is something I'm thankful for each day.” Lance looks like all air that had just filled his blood with rage went out of him at once. He looks a little bit fond, but mostly he just looks sort of vulnerable as he mumbles.  
“You're the furthest thing from stupid or a coward I have ever met.” 

__There is an expectant silence falling around them, enclosing them for a minute before Lance takes the final leap._ _

“So... Does this mean?”  
“I-if you want to, then. Yes.”  
“Oh. Good. Wait, we are talking about the same thing here right?”  
“Uh, if you meant dating, then y-yes. Yes.”  
“YES. Yes, okay, good. Goodie goodie. Neat.” Lance rambles, nervously playing with his fingers. Then he breathes in deep, steeling himself and look Shiro determinedly in the eyes. “So I can kiss you?” Shiro huffs out a little laugh at the serious expression on Lance's face.  
“As long as Keith can't hear I guess?” Lance's eyes twitch and then crinkle as his lips slide into a grin. He steps closer, but instead of going in for a kiss he put his face at the crook just where Shiro's neck meet his shoulder, laughing quietly.  
“No way. It'd be the closest to getting any action that he'll get, we couldn't deny him that.” Shiro laughs. Lance pulls back just enough to watch him, smiling all the way. But his eyelids are starting to droop and his eyes are getting that glossy faraway look. Shiro feel the sudden pull of the bed too, a yawn finding it's way out of him. It's probably late, and he should maybe go back. He is just about to tell Lance they should go to sleep, when Lance once again beats him to the punch.  
“Hey, this is maybe kind of overstepping these boundaries we totally just laid down, but could you maybe. Stay here tonight? TO SLEEP. Just sleep. Just... So I won't think I dreamt this up tomorrow morning.” Well it wasn't really what he had planned, but...  
“Yeah, that sounds nice.” They spend a second just smiling at each other, taking in the sight of the other and realizing at last how late it really must be. “I'm warning you though, I'm a kicker. _Especially_ if I'm in a new place. You might be spending the night on the floor.”  
“Oh, bring it on. I'll koala hug you tight enough that you will wake up with pins and needles all over.” 

Shiro lays down on his back on the bed, Lance putting his nose in the crook of Shiro's neck and an arm around his waist, pulling them close together. He'll probably be sweating buckets from the shared heat, but. It's nice. It feels good. For once, it feels safe closing his eyes. 

“... Think Keith is still awake?”  
“Hm..? I don't know, why?” Shiro suddenly moans really loudly and exaggeratedly.  
“AH LANCE, YOU SEXY MANBEAST! YOU FEEL SO GOOD!” Lance cover his mouth trying to stifle his laughter, only moving his hand to join in with even worse groaning and moans.  
“OH SHIRO! HOW I LOVE FONDLING YOUR GIGANTIC BOSOM. WHICH IS WHAT I AM DOING RIGHT NOW. FONDLING. WHOA MAMA.”  
“OOH MY SHARPSHOOTER, BANG ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR GUNS! 

From the other side of the wall, there is a terrified shriek. 

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe lance went 'oh, Shiro is in love with me, we gotta date now'


End file.
